Cop2Cop offers peer support to New Jersey's finest

• Many of the officers who call have had a tough moment in time, a critical incident, a bad call, a horrific experience with a family member or a personal challenge, said Cop2Cop Program Director Cherie Castellano
• The program's goal is to get them connected and supported while also reviving their strength, she said
• Some 15 retired law enforcement members have been trained to answer crisis calls at Cop2Cop
• We talked to three of them

PISCATAWAY - Linden Detective Frank Leporino retired from the force three years ago but has continued to work with his fellow officers as a peer support counselor with Cop2Cop, a helpline for law enforcement officers in crisis.

While Leporino, an officer for 38 years, never knows what he will encounter each time he picks up the phone, he tries to convince today's cops to step out from behind their shield, and get help when they need it.

"We want to help officers to, number one help themselves and fix themselves for themselves, their families and for the department and the people they serve. It's just for them to take that first step," he said.

Leporino, known as a "cop's cop" has always offered a "welcome ear" to other officers, according to retired Linden Police Chief John Miliano who also serves as a peer support counselor with Cop2Cop, the only legislated law enforcement peer support program in the U.S. Since 1999, the program has worked to avert more than 200 potential law enforcement suicide crisis calls, according to program literature.

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Leporino, Miliano and retired Union County Prosecutor's Office Detective Lt. Roy Diaz are among about 15 retired law enforcement members who have been trained to answer crisis calls at Cop2Cop, based in Piscataway and part of Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care.

Cherie Castellano, Cop2Cop program director, said the retired officers are trained in the reciprocal peer model and partnered with clinicians to do four tasks — make a connection, information gathering and risk assessment, care management and resilience, building on the strengths of officers — as they pursue solutions together.

"Many of these officers just have a tough moment in time, a critical incident, a bad call, a horrific experience with a family member  or personal challenge but they are inherently really strong, beautiful people who have a lot of resilience and integrity and serving hearts," said Castellano, adding the idea is to get them connected and supported while also reviving their strength.

Personal experience

For Diaz making that connection comes easily.

"If you talk about depression, I've been depressed. I've had anxiety. I've had a lot of issues. I suffered a heart attack at 37 years old because of this job. So we can talk about these things. I've been there done that. I have walked in their shoes," Diaz said. "And that's what helps us. All of us have out own stories. And cops want to hear from other cops."

Castellano said about 50 percent of callers get referred to a network of providers who understand law enforcement challenges. And the peer support counselors stay connected and call back, over a period of months, or sometimes, years.

"We never say you've used up your time. It's always open ended. It usually averages about six months with about 12 to 15 live contacts during that time frame with the goal of just supporting them, having that shared lived experience, listening to anything and everything. and at the end hopefully they have a better quality of life," Castellano said.

In addition to answering calls from law enforcement officers and their families, Cop2Cop also offers: a crisis response team to provide psychological first aid and critical incident stress debriefings; Question Persuade and Refer Suicide Prevention Outreach and Access, which provides tools to recognize early signs and how to question, persuade and refer that officer to get help before it gets out of control; and a Wounded Officer Support Program.

She said Cop2Cop is present for officers before and after they are in crisis.

Since 2000, Cop to Cop has responded to more than 76,393 calls from 7,634 officers. About 26,216 calls have been for anxiety, 34,112 for depression and mood disorders, and 27,070 for PTSD.

According to Rutgers Office of Custodian Records, since 2000 there have been 130 suicides involving police officers which have been reported to Cop2Cop and or Vet2Vet. The number includes active and retired police and corrections officers.

"Cops help strangers every day, whether they are good people in the community or bad people in the community," Diaz said. "Sometimes in police work we don't see each other needing help because we're kind of like invading their privacy or scared that somebody will say hey mind your business.'

And when an officer says that Diaz replies "You are my business."

"We're police officers, we're brothers. I stress it so often you help strangers every day why shouldn't I help you. It's a stigma officers asking for help, because we see asking for help as a weakness. Because we are suppose to be tough guys," Diaz said. "Me, I'm a Latino. We've got this bravado and I'm not suppose to cry. This man (Leporino) has seen me cry. That's why I do what I do."

Life's stories

Although Leporino, Diaz and Miliano are not military veterans, like those in the armed services cops see some real horrors.

As a traffic patrolman Miliano remembers a mother dropping off her 5-year-old son at school and while he was getting out of the car the vehicle lurched forward, struck and killed the boy.

"At that time my son was 5 years old. I had to go to the post mortem autopsy and there is this beautiful little boy laying on the slab, long arms, long legs just like my son and that takes a toll on you. For a week I couldn't sleep too good, eat too good," said Miliano, adding there was no debriefings when this happened to him.

"What we (at Cop2Cop) try to promote is the idea that we can all use a little helping hand from time to time to help us get over," Miliano said.

Leporino remembers handling four infant death investigations, one an accidental drowning and three homicides.

"I was able to focus on doing the investigation and getting the people who were responsible for the homicide. I know there were other homicides that I investigated with adults, but the infants are the ones I remember," he said.

Diaz too recalls the suspicious death of a 4-year-old.

"Looking at the (window) blinds here and I see the cord and it brings me right back to that day when the baby was hung up in the cord. For me the worst part of it was notifying the mother who was a Muhlenberg nurse and she came home and didn't pick up the 4-year-old in her arms. That was hard," he said.

"I was involved in a shooting in 1987 that even three months ago woke me up at 3 in the morning," he said. "It still bothers me. We just pile it on, we pile it on and keep going to work, because that's what we are trained to do. We don't run away from gunshots we run to them," he said.

As a supervisor for 15 years, Diaz expected the people he worked with to put as much on their plate as they possibly could but not reach for a bigger plate.

"We tend to get a bigger plate and a bigger plate and then it just overflows and when it overflows that's when we starting drinking, we start self medicating, we start doing bad things to ourselves and we don't call," he said. "Some cops are too proud to call but we go home and victimize our family and we kick our dogs because of this job.'

The biggest step is making the call for help.

"Once they make that first call and they end up making a connection whether it be with Roy, or John or one of the other peers that are out there, that starts the ball rolling and one thing about us even after we've spoken a few times with an officer if they need a referral we always call. It's not a one shot deal," Leporino said. "A lot of us with the officers we talk to you create a bond."

The calls are confidential and callers don't have to give their name.

"We are all good listeners. Bottom line is we care. They feel our hearts open for them. They feel our smile over the phone. They feel us caring and that's what a lot of cops want," Diaz said. "You may get a guy who is crying and at the end of the phone call we're laughing. That's the goal. I want to make that guy feel much better at the end of that call. I want him to feel he made the right call that day."

Why do this

Leporino said he became a cop to help people and make a difference and that desire doesn't end with retirement.

And the reward is knowing the help worked.

"I had a person say 'you saved my life.' That's the ultimate," Diaz said. "When somebody tells me you saved my life I'm walking out of here high as can be. It just feels so good."

And the opposite is when you are trying to help somebody and they don't accept the help or you find out they did something bad to themselves. That's a downer, he said.

Diaz, Leporino and Miliano work with licensed cop clinicians who can hear when they have encountered a heavy phone conversation in which the caller unloads 50 pounds of problems on their shoulders. And although they may debrief themselves, the conversation may still linger in their mind.

Like the investigations formerly piled on his desk, Leporino said he has gone home thinking about the officers who called, and urged them to call again or make sure he or someone else calls them back.

Miliano said there is a great amount of personal satisfaction in doing someone a good service and knowing that person is on their way to recovery.

"So often the officers say this work affirms their work and life, whatever they have come through they get to use that, so it's ok to have this work make you feel good. It's serving someone else," Castellano said.

"This is the second best job I ever had in my whole life. My first love was police work this is my second love. It's amazing the fulfillment I get out of it," Diaz said.

Additional information can be obtained by calling Cop2Cop at 1-866-267-2267.

Staff Writer Suzanne Russell: 732-565-7335; srussell@mycentraljersey.com